Restlessness

So, I am exhausted! I feel wiped out physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I sometimes find it unbelievable that I muster the energy to get out of bed at all during the day. Between two kids, my love being away, running around for different things and all the different events we attend I need a getaway! I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions. Everytime I feel like I'm a little bit ahead I somehow get swept back under. I lay in bed at night unable to fall asleep for different reasons. I wish I could just lay down and go to sleep immediately like my husband is able to do. I don't want to take anything to help me sleep because I'm afraid I won't wake up for the kids in the middle of the night or I might miss a phonecall from the hubbs. I honestly need time to just be alone and away from it all. I love my family and friends dearly. I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I think if my mind could just relax for an hour i would be a much more pleasant person. I hide the pain and sadness I feel way down deep. I try to hold it together for everyone around me, but I feel like I'm going to break. I wish that I could just let go of the worry and I really do try. I worry enough for everyone! I am in a constant state of prayer for myslef and for others. I pray that I can gather the strength to keep it all together. I always think, "If one more thing goes wrong..." I know it's not healthy, but that is who I am. Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm a "worry-holic". I hate that I feel like I can't share every little detail with my husband as I normally do because he doesn't need that over there. He has always told me to talk to him about everything, but I just can't put more of a burden on him than he already has. So, I pray and worry.....