Thursday, December 16, 2010

Holidays Without My Love

 As Ethan and I watched the CMA Christmas Special, Rascal Flatts (my all-time favorite) came on and sang 'I'll Be Home For Christmas'. As they sang, pictures and videos were played on the screen behind them of military personnel and their families sending special messages to one another from far away. I, of course, was crying my eyes out. But the thing that broke my heart most of all was when my sweet little boy looked up at me and with tears in his big brown eyes said, "Mama, my daddy's not gonna be here for Christmas". Ugh...I melted into a puddle on the floor! I wish with every fiber of my being that I had the power to bring him home for Christmas! This year is our littlest love's first Christmas and I wish so much that JP could be here to celebrate with us. As I put out decorations for Christmas, it makes me realize even more that this year will be so much different than the rest.  Normally, JP and I take out all the stuff the day after Thanksgiving, turn on the Christmas music and drink hot chocolate with our little love (Ethan). We both are like little kids that cannot contain our excitement! We go to the lot and pick out a fresh tree, bring it home and get started. JP usually does the lights for me and then we all pick out our favorite ornaments to be placed in that "perfect" spot. I was thinking of buying a fake tree for the simple fact that I couldn't see myself picking out a tree without JP. As I was getting the kids ready I thought, "You know, it just wouldn't be Christmas without that fresh tree smell. I am so glad I changed my mind because Ethan had a blast picking one out. We got it home and began decorating immediately. I picked up one of my most treasured ornaments and read the words, "Our First Christmas". I remembered through tears that first one, that was ever so special, with fondness. This will be our 5th together and though we are separated my many many miles, he is here with me in the faces of my two precious babies. Of all the gifts he has ever given me, Ethan Hunter and Savannah Joyce were by far the best! I could not be any more thankful for my three loves and our precious angel baby watching over us from up above!! I will put a smile on my face and make this Christmas just as special as the ones past. We will have our Daddy back ever so soon and we will be celebrating Christmas in February with him!! Hold on tight to your loved ones and never take for granted the precious time you have together. Remember those of us that are missing ours and keep them in your prayers! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!